Atlanta, Ga 2007
I was staying in Atlanta, Ga when I first became aware of an entity that was a separate consciousness from myself. I had decided to visit a friend for the summer after being date-raped by an acquaintence. I spent the entire summer with my best friend as we had just turned 30 years old that year and were celebrating it as our new 20's and gearing up for improvements and changes in our lives. I enjoyed my stay there so much that I decided to get a job and remain there. She introduced me to many people and one of her friends offered to let me live with them.
I was in a state of recovering from depression and I felt like I had no purpose. Her friend was a hypnotherapist and lived in a property management situation. I moved in with her and began attending meditations that she held.
One evening, I had received some bad news and I was particularly depressed, really depressed. She came in and comforted me but I was still feeling isolated and alone. I asked for the company of a spirit or an entity like a dragon to keep me company and comfort me in my depression. I was simply very sad. Shortly after this I became aware of something talking to me and telling me to be happy.
One day, I decided to do some watercolor painting in my sketch book and the entity was helping me paint. I could feel it pushing my hands and arms gently. I named the entity Kelly and called it a dragon, as my one pagan friend often talked about his dragon entity. I simply assumed this is what it was. Together, we proceded to paint a loose portrait of Kelly the dragon.
This went on for several months. I was not entirely comfortable with my roommate and I had asked her not to perform hypnosis on me, but I was going through such deep states of depression and I was acting rather strange with Kelly prompting me to sway back and forth a little and just be happy. I know that she only meant to help but she did in fact attempt some form of hypnosis on me which caused my state eventually to become even more sensitive. This eventually led to what is classically called a psychotic break and caused me to act irrationally for over a week. I was also not comfortable with her spiritual literature as it had many views on sex that I was too uncomfortable with. She was introducing me to OSHO, and I sternly told her I was Buddhist and that I was happy with that. This did cause some tension between us.
I was not aware of it then but there was more than one spirit around me during my ultimate break. One morning...on my way to catch the train I kept hearing something tell me not to go to work. I had been getting this message for over a week and finally I just followed it. It told me to go to the Krispy Kreme and get a dozen doughnuts and some coffee...I skipped the coffee. After I purchased the doughnuts I walked up the street another block. Something told me to go to the church. I was pushed gently to the side door of the church, a community event room. I heard music coming from the room and saw young people coming from the doorway. There was a Christian rock band playing music inside and a table set aside with refreshments. The youngsters greeted me with welcome as I strayed into their presence and upon seeing that I was not entirely well, offered to have me sit and listen to the sermon that was prepared. I was pushed towards the microphone. I can't remember what exactly I said, but I did see a song title and I read it aloud: I know who I am today. This was about as far from the truth as I can imagine. I think I began to cry.
The pastor showed up and welcomed me into their presence and offered that I stay and listen to the sermon. He told me that if I felt like getting out of my chair or moved to do anything out of the ordinary to feel comfortable because they were comfortable with that. He preached about the fear of God and confession and I believe the end of the world. I felt vibrations on my body moving me toward the front of the church. I was pushed forward in the praying position several times and pulled backward in an aching arch several times. The pastor came over to me and continued to preach and helped me to confess my sins. At the end of the sermon, when I finally rose from the prayer position, I turned around and I saw that everyone in the room had been moved to get on the floor and begin praying. Many of the young people were crying. I walked around to all of them and hugged them and helped them rise from the floor. I knew it was a sign. I knew we had shared this experience. Today, I understand that there must have been spirits guiding me through this, that I was not aware of...angels.
The next week was full of bizarre things. I wasn't going to work and I was simply wandering the streets during the day. There was soft voice that seemed to push me under lamp lights and make sure I got home before it was too dark out or too late. For seven days I just wandered around in what I consider to be much like a trance state. I reached a state commonly referred to in psychiatry as mania, and I sang a love song for three days. My friends were terribly worried but they were all at a loss as to what to do. After seven days of this, I had a nightmare. At 4 a.m. I called my best friend and asked her to come get me and take me to the hospital. I was hearing things now that were evil, that were telling me to kill myself. My hands were snapping involuntarily as if they were going to slit each wrist. Knowing that I did not want to do this, I waited for my friends to pick me up and take me to the hospital. I spent the next two weeks in hospitals. I was eventually picked up by my sister and an exboyfriend and driven back to Virginia where I was hospitalized 24 hours after returning home after awaking from another nightmare and a voice telling me to kill my cat and other such things, so it was about a week in Georgia and a week in Virginia.
I healed from this experience, but was terribly shaken from it. I know today that my ghost Kelly was an angry Osho. I had angered him by rejecting his works. I did not know that he was Kelly until this year. I also know now that it was Osho (real name Bhagwan Rajineesh) that added to the mental torture I endured in the emergency room. I was told that I would die, that I would wake up a vegetable, that my memory would be erased, that I would have a heart attack. I can't help but wonder what other ghosts or spirits were also taunting me at this time, but I am very aware of Bhagwan's presence during those events. Another presence, I would later come to know as my soulmate, was helping me to remain safe and guiding me away from the darkness. Beyond this, I can only speculate but with my experience at the church it would seem safe to suggest that I also had angels and maybe even Jesus.
Three months after my hospitalizations, in May, I ran into an old boyfriend from high school. I was still very sensitive and I was very excited to meet him again. During one of our evenings out I became aware of something moving my arms and telling me to love him. He told me to stop moving my arms like that because it was creeping him out. I was making knife fighting movements that I couldn't possibley know about. The entity was his deceased best friend, Perry. Perry told me to tell him that he loved him, so I did. They had been in the military together and Perry was killed in Iraq. Perry, I now know, was one of the softer voices guiding me to safety in my delusional and trance states mentioned above.
I married my high school sweetheart and spent the next 6 months in a very abusive relationship. I tried to get my husband help but when it became clear to me he would not do this I asked God to give me a sign in 6 months if it would be ok for me to leave him. When things just came together, I didn't question it and I left. I returned home to Virginia and have been here ever since.
